This could be the end

He can’t be my slave any more.

It makes me very sad to write that.

I had sent a copy of the contract to him, and he had agreed to it, although not signed as yet. One clause was that the slave had no right to privacy. Last night a letter arrived at my house, addressed to him. I opened it, and relayed the contents by text. Today he asked me why I had opened it. I explained, and asked if he had a problem with that. He said that he respected others’ privacy and expected the same back.

I can’t own someone with that attitude.

But also, and even more significantly for me because it has such an impact on the wider community (our family, friends etc.), I don’t know if I can marry someone with that attitude.

I have no interest in prying into his mail and opened it only for the practical reason that I could pass on the message. However, if the positions were reversed (as I am sure they will be, living together) I would have no problem with him opening my mail. In my view, husband’s and wife’s mail should be able to be treated the same, with either opening the other’s. I appreciate there are some couples this doesn’t work for, if for example one is getting confidential letters from a friend discussing their personal problems, but in our case this isn’t happening.

Can I marry him?

Less than 2 months to the date; less than a month to make up my mind. Only on Wednesday I was telling him that I had never had any doubts that I had made the right decision; now I am wondering.
This is a horrible, horrible feeling.